Lord Sesshomaru?
by Belief Among Unrest
Summary: "He knew anger quite well. Hatred too. Rarely grief, and even more rarely happiness. But never love." Rin's got questions, and answers seem to go along with bold approaches.


From the day Rin awoke on the floor of the forest, somehow knowing that she had died and yet living and breathing, she had known that she would never have a home anywhere but with the "man" whom she had brought food and water to when she found him injured in the woods. From that day on, her fate had been sealed.

For years she had traveled with Lord Sesshomaru, wandering through forests and across valleys and over mountains, picking off minor demons and chasing his half-brother InuYasha in the hopes of slaughtering him. In these many years her Lord Sesshomaru had been unfailingly kind to her; he wasn't openly pleasant, in words or feelings (in fact, she wondered if he felt at all), but he always gave her gifts: new silk kimonos, a turquoise hair comb, a black band with a crescent moon charm to wrap around her wrist. Once, he even gave her a pair of dainty pink shoes. She kept them with her always, but never wore them, knowing that if she did they would eventually wear through and be useless, or she would lose them while running. And as she aged, Sesshomaru even noticed enough to get bigger sizes in kimonos, or more adult things he could give to her.

And ever did she age. So young was she when she first met Lord Sesshomaru, but now she had grown into a young woman. She was now at the age of eighteen, old enough to be wed, to bear children, and it was evident in her looks. Though her large brown eyes had never lost their size or color, her hair had lightened from the constant sun, and her skin had darkened to a deep tan. Her scraggly short locks had grown to her waist and shone from the sunlight, though she had to keep it wrapped in a messy bun at the back of her head to keep it from getting in her way. She stayed thin, but muscular instead of frail, and didn't ever truly develop the curves women her age did. Though she didn't mind one bit about her looks.

One thing about Rin that never changed was the way she smiled and laughed, always bright and happy; it didn't matter that she spent all of her time with demons, traveling. She had fine laugh lines around her eyes, and the only time she didn't grin was in her sleep. She looked up to Lord Sesshomaru as an idol, and she adored him completely. To her he was a hero, and the only one she had ever known. She had taken to the belief that demons were better and kinder than humans, because the only humans she had ever knows were cruel and heartless, and the demons she met were saints in comparison.

Rin didn't want for more than what she had. She was content with the presence of Sesshomaru, and Jaken too, though he was not with them more often than he was, out in the world discovering new information on InuYasha and the priestess he had married some years ago, tracking them. So it was she and Sesshomaru, and as the months wore on, she wished Jaken would not come to them and update them so frequently, if only so she could spend more time with him alone.

It couldn't be denied that the mighty Lord Sesshomaru had grown fond of the young woman, despite his preconceived notions that humans were lesser and inferior. Although he still spoke infrequently with her, and seldom asked questions, he enjoyed her presence very much. And though he was quiet the majority of the time in their travels, she was more than happy to fill the silence, whether it be with her singing or incessant chattering. Sesshomaru found himself mildly amused on occasion with the way her voice was used at all opportunities. Sometimes he would not even listen to the words she said, and simply watch the way her mouth moved when she spoke. Some days he would find himself bored, and content himself with the humming of the girl when she picked flowers in the forests and meadows.

It would be an understatement to say that he never let Rin out of his sight. He was her guardian, and had taken her safety as a personal responsibility. If another creature threatened her, he made sure they never would again. He kept her away from all other demons, only letting her be with Jaken and himself, knowing that she would never understand that demons were the bad ones, and the humans were good.

It would be tricky, though, to say that Sesshomaru had learned compassion. While he did treat Rin rightly and kindly, it seemed as though he was still incapable of feeling actual human care. A part of Rin doubted Lord Sesshomaru could in fact feel the strength of any emotion mortals like she did, but the larger part said that he was just stubborn, and refused to change. She knew that though he was a demon, and powerful at that, and that he often thought himself above things such as _feelings_, and it sometimes could make her upset.

It would be easy to say that she felt the way she did toward Sesshomaru because he was the only one who had ever been kind to her and had saved her from certain death (more than once, too), but she knew better. It was Sesshomaru himself: each flaw and every perfection, both mortal and immortal, that made her feel the way she did. And what she felt was more than simply companionship and amity. It was affection.

But, it wasn't something to dwell on. She adored him, and not just for the protection he offered, but more for a deep set fondness of _him_. She felt like it was the strongest thing she's ever felt toward anything; however, he was not the kind to love humans, or anything truly relating to humanity itself. It would be impossible for him to feel the same.

Impossible.

XxXxXxXxX

"Lord Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru stopped and looked over his shoulder at her.

Rin stopped as well, a few feet behind him. She looked up into his icy golden stare and asked timidly, "How do you see me?"

"What do you mean?"

Rin bit her lip, suddenly feeling shy. "I just…want to know something. Do you see me as just your ward? Or…am I your friend?"

Sesshomaru kept his icy stare fixed on her large eyes. The question lay unanswered between the two of them.

Rin sighed, feeling unsure of herself. She breathed in once, twice, three times, and she knew that he had heard her. She switched tactics. "Lord Sesshomaru, have you ever been in love?"

He blinked at the word love, as if it were a foreign concept. "Love?" he said, tasting the word. He didn't have to think about it at all. "Love is not for those like me, Rin. Those like me do not love."

She looked a little eagerly at him. "Everyone loves, Lord Sesshomaru. Love is a very great thing, and no one is immune to it. Everybody from the highest lord to the lowest scum can love!"

Still, he stared at her like the topic was alien to him. "Rin, have _you_ ever loved?"

It was one of the few times he ever actually asked her a question, and Rin almost didn't know what to say. "Of course I have," she said after a moment. "I love my parents, or at least their memory. I love the sky and the flowers and the sun. And I love both you and Jaken." She spoke it like a fact.

"Love me?"

Rin very nearly blushed. "Yes, definitely. You two are the only family, or anything relating to the sense of the word, that I have ever known. You're the only ones who have always been there for me."

Sesshomaru stared at her expectantly, as if waiting for her to say more. She didn't. Eventually, he said, "Why do you ask me these things, Rin? What importance does the answer hold?"

Rin looked at the ground. She came at the subject yet another way. "I'm just wondering…curiosity's sake, you know." She looked at him again. "What if you were mortal? Do you think you would love anyone then? Would you marry?" He stared at her. She tried one last time. "Do you think you could be happy?"

Still, he said nothing. The wind blew the hairs around their faces, white and brown, like the snow that protects the dirt during the cold winter, just like the way he always protected her.

He sighed quietly, uncharacteristically. "Happiness is a fragile thing, Rin. It only lasts for so long."

She beamed at him, unfazed. "I'm happy," she said confidently. "I've always been happy. The world is such an amazing place, with so many things, and I love it all." She clasped her hands over her heart, a gesture that showed the significance of her feelings. "I don't think I'll ever be sad again. Or angry."

At the word 'angry," Sesshomaru's eyes clouded with an understanding. He knew anger quite well. Hatred too. Rarely grief, and even more rarely happiness. But never love.

"Happiness, love, what is the meaning of this?" When she looked away, he said quietly, "Rin. Why?" He put his hand on her shoulder lightly, an innocent motion for anyone else, but from him it was a sign that he fully expected an answer. At his touch, she closed her eyes and relaxed. A little surprised at her reaction, he removed his hand, letting it hang by his side. Her eyes opened, and she stared at him with an expression he had never seen before. It was something akin to determination.

Rin _was_ determined. Determined to show him that love was real, that happiness was easily obtained, and easy to keep, if only you believed it.

Before she lost her nerve, Rin stepped boldly toward Sesshomaru, trying to eliminate any space between them. With one hand she pulled herself more towards his height using his shoulder, and the other one went to cup his cheek, her fingers resting over the magenta lines on his face. Slowly, she raised her mouth to his, giving him time in case he wanted to fling her away, but he held still. She pulled herself closer, lowering her eyelids to focus on his mouth so she didn't have to see his expression, and touched his lips with hers.

Another boy might pull back, or go rigid, or accept her kiss easily. But Lord Sesshomaru was no ordinary boy, or a boy at all, in fact. He did not move at all, to push her away or step back or kiss her equally, but simply stood there as though she were not there at all. Perhaps another boy would have made a noise of surprise, but none came. Maybe another boy would have blushed or gasped or moaned, but he stayed silent.

She pressed her mouth more firmly against his, wishing for a reaction, anything to show how he was feeling. But when none came still, she tentatively opened his mouth with her own, and let her tongue touch his briefly. Perhaps a normal boy would now respond, to reject or welcome, or stiffen in true surprise now, but still, he remained motionless.

Frustrated, she slid both of her arms around the back of his neck, forcing him closer, letting her tongue run slowly over his bottom lip. Maybe a normal mortal boy would be startled into action, and slowly but surely begin to kiss her back. But Sesshomaru would always do things in the oddest and most unexpected way. Without missing a beat, almost as if he had been responding the whole time, he kissed her in turn, his hands not moving to touch her, but she knew he wasn't ready to hold her just yet.

Feeling a thrill at his response, she welcomed his reciprocations fervently, kissing him with everything she had. It was brief, in the way that a demon lord and his subject kiss, only a moment's time, but enough for Rin.

When she pulled away, Rin was suddenly frightened to see his expression; she stepped away and put a hand to her mouth, as if to ward off the past. He let her go for a moment, but eventually coaxed her eyes toward his with a finger under her chin, and held her gaze for a long moment.

"No," he said at last, and her breath caught uncomfortably in her throat. "No, I have never felt love."

It wasn't as though Rin were surprised; this was a demon lord after all. Still she couldn't help her disappointment. It was foolish, she thought, to wish for Sesshomaru's affections.

His claw touched her cheek, a sharp and strange caress. "But I am not stopping you."

A slow grin made its way to her face until she was beaming at him.

The side of his mouth quirked up in some obscure semblance of a smile.

* * *

_What up, guys._

_I had this up before, but by god, it sucked. I fixed it. More in-character now, I hope. Goddamn past self, writing crap stories._

_I'd disclaimer this, but the whole site is one big disclaimer. Carry on._


End file.
